Arrr, says Captain O'Leary, DOGE be needin' to plunder deeper and slash like a scallywag to find treasure!
2025-02-18
Arrr, matey! Though scallywags be grumblin' 'bout the DOGE crew slashin' the doubloons too swift, ol' Captain Kevin O'Leary be shoutin' they’re dawdlin' like a landlubber! Avast, me hearties, speed up ye treasure hunt!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one Captain O'Leary, a bold buccaneer of the business seas! This scallywag be the Chairman of O'Leary Ventures, and he’s taken aim at the newly minted ship of fools known as the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE for short! On a fine Tuesday, he declared that these landlubbers need to be whacking away at their useless doubloons with greater fervor!"Aye, they be like big fat chickens sittin’ ‘round a barbecue, drippin’ with waste!" he bellowed. O'Leary believes they ain't slashing deep enough into the treasure chests! He calls for more cuts—"Cut, cut, cut, like a sailor in a sword fight!" he cried. Even talk of lopping off heads wielding nuclear codes didn’t faze him! If ye can’t show yer worth, prepare to walk the plank!
Under the command of Captain Elon Musk, DOGE be slashing away at the federal spending seas, causing a ruckus among the crew and raising the ire of 14 state attorneys general. But lo and behold! A judge let DOGE off the hook to access some treasure maps—er, sensitive data—so they can continue their treasure hunt for inefficiency! So hoist the sails and prepare for a wild ride, mateys!