Arrr! Howard Lutnick be named Trump’s treasure keeper! May the gold flow like rum, savvy?
2025-02-18
Arrr, on the fine day of Tuesday, the Senate be givin’ a hearty nod to Howard Lutnick, to take the helm as Trump's trusty Secretary of Commerce! Aye, let’s hope he don’t be steerin’ the ship into a stormy sea of taxes and trade, har har!
Ahoy, ye landlubbers and scallywags! Gather 'round fer a tale of commerce and trade, where the Senate has set sail on a fine Tuesday, confirm’n one Howard Lutnick as the new Secretary of Commerce under Captain Trump! Aye, the Republican crew cast their votes and gave him the green light, just days after they’d invoked the fancy term “cloture” in the hallowed halls.Now, this Lutnick be a wealthy swab, the captain of Cantor Fitzgerald, promise’n to toss his shiny doubloons overboard to stay fair and square in his new role. “I be servin’ the American people!” he declared, swearin’ to sell all his treasures within 90 days. He’s a firm believer in Trump’s grand scheme o’ tariffs to right the wrongs of foreign trade, declarin’ it “nonsense” that they cause inflation. Aye, he be itchin’ to raise those tariffs high, sayin’ we get treated worse than a mutinous crew!
Trump, the captain himself, be layin’ down the law with a 25% tax on steel and aluminum imports, makin’ it clear he means business! With Lutnick at the helm, they be charting a course for what they call “reciprocal tariffs” to ensure fair play on the high seas of trade. So, hoist the flag, me hearties, for adventure awaits in the world of commerce!