Arrr! Hegseth be shiverin' me timbers, commandin' the Pentagon to scuttle the treasure map o' funds!
2025-02-19
Arrr, me hearties! The ol' defense cap'n be callin' on the crew to slice a hearty 8 percent from the treasure hoard each year fer the next five! So batten down the hatches and ready yer cutlasses—'tis time to tighten our belts, aye!
Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I be havin' a tale to spin about the scallywags in fancy trousers who be runnin' the defense! Our noble Secretary of Defense, a landlubber of great renown, be callin' upon the high-ranking brass to ready their sea chests and sharpen their cutlasses, fer the King’s treasure be runnin' low!With a hearty chortle, he proclaimed that they must prepare to trim a whopping 8 percent from their bounty each year fer the next five revolutions of the sun! Aye, that’s right, ye heard me right—eight percent! That be more than a parrot's squawk after a hearty meal of crackers!
So, all ye cap’ns and first mates in the realm of finances, it be time to batten down the hatches! The rum rations might be thinned, and the cannonballs fewer, but fret not! We be findin’ ways to make do, like swappin’ out gold doubloons fer shiny pebbles or usin’ seaweed in place of fine linens!
Let us hoist the sails and prepare fer a budgetary tempest, fer we be pirates at heart, and no amount of cuttin’ can keep us from our plunder! Avast, me hearties! Onward to the frugal seas we sail!