The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Trump be likin' hisself to a crown-wearin’ scallywag on Truth Social, shoutin’, 'Long live the King!' Har har!"

2025-02-19

Arrr, mateys! Captain Trump be revelin' in his golden treasures and royal trappings, from grand parades to fancy shindigs! But lo and behold, he hath proclaimed himself a king, slayin’ the foul congestion pricing beast in New York! “The city be saved!” he bellows, like a true buccaneer!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I’ve a tale that’ll tickle yer funny bone. Our goodly Captain Trump, known far and wide fer his lust fer all things glitterin’ like the treasure of a sunken galleon, has been up to his usual shenanigans. With parades grander than a royal festivity and balls fancier than a captain’s feast, he be livin’ the life of a true monarch!

But lo and behold! In a recent missive on his magical scroll, Truth Social, he proclaims himself a king! Aye, that’s right, he’s claimin’ the throne after slayin’ the beast known as New York City’s congestion pricing scheme. With nary a sword drawn nor cannon fired, he declared, “CONGESTION PRICING IS DEAD! Manhattan, and all of New York, be SAVED!”

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