"Arrr! GOP scallywag be settin' sail fer glory, takin' a jolly jig against that pesky 'wokeness' at CPAC!"
2025-02-20
Arrr, mateys! Indiana’s own Sen. Jim Banks be ready to declare the grim fate of DEI and them woke shenanigans in the good ol’ U.S. of A! A speech to the scallywags outside Washington, D.C. be comin’ soon—hoist the sails and let the snickers fly!
Aye, gather 'round me hearties, fer I be bringin' ye tidings from the land o’ Indiana, where a scallywag named Jim Banks be settin' sail on a grand speech! This here buccaneer o' the Republican Party plans to declare victory over the “wokeness” that has swarmed our shores like a plague of barnacles! With Trump’s mighty pen, he says the “Golden Age of America” be crushin’ the dastardly DEI—diversity, equity, and inclusion—into Davy Jones’ locker!"Arrr, DEI be the black spot on the American Dream!" he’ll bellow at the Conservative Political Action Conference. Banks accuses them Democrats of tryin’ to blow up our fine institutions with their “woke” cannons, all in a bid to sink our culture beneath the waves!
He’ll also regale the crowd of how Trump, the fearless captain, has cut DEI from our military and schools, makin’ ‘em sharper than a cutlass! Under his command, the Education Department tossed nearly $350 million of “woke” gold into the briny deep!
But beware, mateys! Banks warns that the seas be still fraught with weak Republicans who be flounderin’ about. He calls for more legislation to keep the winds of change blowin' strong! So hoist the sails, ‘cause the New Right be settin' course for true conservatism, and they ain't takin’ no prisoners—except those pesky “woke” ideas!