Arrr! Miami's sea dog Carson Beck be losin' his shiny treasure on wheels to scallywags, says the parrot report!
2025-02-20
Arrr, matey! It be reported that Carson Beck, the swashbucklin' captain of the Miami Hurricanes, had his fine chariots lifted from his dock in the dead of night! Shiver me timbers! Even a pirate knows ye don’t park yer treasure where scallywags can swipe it!
Avast ye hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale o’ woe from the sunny shores of Miami! Aye, it be reported that the famed quarterback Carson Beck, yonder from the Miami Hurricanes, found his prized chariots—two luxury steeds, a Mercedes and a flashy Lamborghini—snatched right under his nose! The cunning rascals pilfered these treasures in the dark of night, leavin’ the lad and his lass, the comely basketball lass Hanna Cavinder, in a right pickle! Alas, they did manage to recover the fair maiden's SUV, but Beck’s gleaming beasts remain lost at sea… or rather, on the mean streets of South Florida! Beck's agent, a savvy swab named Jeff Hoffman, tipped his hat to the fine crew of the Miami Police, bless 'em! "They be doin' a fine job," he said, while the troublesome pirates of crime continue plundering the riches of high-profile athletes like a band of merry brigands! Word on the briny breeze is that a group of seven scallywags from Chile be in hot water over a grand scheme of burglaries totaling two million doubloons in loot! But fear not, mateys, for young Carson’s theft be unconnected to these scurvy knaves. So, let’s raise a tankard and hope the winds bring back his stolen treasures!