Arrr, Minnesota scallywags be tossin' trans athletes overboard while the captain's orders be makin' 'em walk the plank!
2025-02-20
Arrr, me hearties! The landlubbers o' Minnesota be raisin’ a flag against trans athletes, sayin’ they can’t join the lassies in their sporty shenanigans! Aye, 'tis a bill born from defyin’ Trump’s orders. Blimey, the seas of sport be gettin’ stormy, matey!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the land o' Minnesota, where the House Education Policy Committee be weighin' anchor on a new bill, HF12, that seeks to keep trans athletes off the field o' women's sports. Dubbed the "Preservin' Girls' Sports Act," it declares that only lassies be allowed in these here athletic contests, claimin' it's fer their own good, lest they be knocked about like a ship in a storm!Now, some scallywags, like the brave Leanna Chambers, spun yarns of woe, tellin' of her daughter who got her wrist snapped like a twig by a lad in the game, bleedin’ hearts all around! A volleyball player chimed in, lamentin' about bein' dwarfed by a towering 6'4" matey servin' the ball, wonderin' what be the point of 'girl teams' if the lads be joinin' in on the fun?
But beware, for the good Rep. Alex Falconer raised a ruckus, warnin' that this here bill be stirrin' up discrimination worse than a stormy sea! He fears it’ll sink the spirits of young souls, castin' 'em adrift in a sea of despair. The bill sails to the House next, where it faces a mighty captain, Gov. Tim Walz, who be a fierce defender of trans rights. Will it find favor or be cast aside? Only time will tell, me hearties!