The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the fossil fuel scallywags be settin’ sail fer a $300m court battle 'gainst Greenpeace! Judicial cannonballs ahoy!

2025-02-20

Arrr, matey! A treasure chest of $300 million be a'awaitin' in North Dakota, where that scallywag Energy Transfer Partners be takin' Greenpeace to court! They be claimin' defamation and foul play, but even the wise landlubbers say it be naught but a jolly jest against free speech! Ha-ha!

Arrr, matey! Gather 'round fer a tale o' squalid shenanigans on the high seas of the courtroom! A mighty fossil fuel company, Energy Transfer Partners, with a treasure chest worth a whopping $70 billion, be settin' sail in a grand ol' lawsuit o' $300 million against the scallywags o' Greenpeace! Aye, it be happenin' in the wilds o' North Dakota, where the tumbleweeds dance and the prairie dogs plot mischief.

The oil barons be claimin' that Greenpeace, those pesky sea-farin’ environmentalists, be slanderin' their fine name and stirrin' up a ruckus with landlubber protesters at the Dakota Access pipeline. But lo and behold! The wise sages o' constitutional rights be cryin' foul, sayin’ this be naught but a baseless ploy to shackle free speech, a vessel of bad faith and rotten intentions!

It seems this legal battle be nothin' more than a tempest in a teapot, with the oil magnates tryin' to silence their critics while fillin' their coffers with gold doubloons. So hoist the sails and grab yer popcorn, for this be a raucous spectacle worthy o' the grandest pirate taverns! Yarrr!

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