The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Ahoy, mateys! The school be stockin' the loo with lady rags fer any scallywag who bleeds like a true buccaneer!"

2025-02-21

Ahoy, mateys! The fine folks at Long Beach be sendin' word to all ye parents that from the third grade onwards, ye'll find period treasures in the lasses' quarters and, blow me down, even in a lads' loo! Talk about a jolly good surprise on the high seas of education!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about a peculiar decree from the sunny shores of California! In a grand proclamation, the Long Beach Unified School District be tellin' parents that henceforth, all schools with grades 3 through 12 shall be havin' menstrual products stashed in their restrooms! Aye, ye heard me right—pads and tampons for all, even in the lads' lavatories!

This here law, dubbed the “Menstrual Equality for All Act,” be settin' sail to ensure that all scallywags who menstruate, includin' our brave transgender mates and nonbinary buccaneers, can access these necessary goods with dignity and discretion! The school be askin' for a wee bit o’ patience as they install the dispensers across their hallowed halls.

But wait, there’s more! Families be encouraged to chat with their young'uns about the "appropriate and safe" use of these treasures. So, as ye prepare for the upcoming school year, remember this: California be workin' hard to create a fair and inclusive environment for all students, makin’ sure no pirate be left behind during their monthly voyage! Arrr, may the winds of equity fill yer sails!

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