The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Noem be raisin' the sails fer a bounty o' scallywags to send packin' to Davy Jones' locker!"

2025-02-21

Arrr, mateys! This week, Captain Kristi Noem be givin' a jolly ol' wink to 600 landlubbers in the State Department, makin' 'em immigration buccaneers! Aye, they be chasin' off scallywags and keepin' the shores safe as a ship in a bottle! Yarrr, under Trump, the DHS sails forth!

Avast ye scallywags! Hearken to the latest news from the landlubbers at the Department of Homeland Security, where the fair Secretary Kristi Noem be makin' waves like a ship in a stormy sea!

This week, she put quill to parchment, givin’ the nod to a mighty crew of up to 600 State Department buccaneers, turnin’ ‘em into immigration officers—aye, ye heard it right! They be swappin’ their diplomatic hats for the hats of lawmen, all in the name of roundin’ up the scallywags sailin’ under false colors.

With a hearty “yarrr!” she signed an order, callin’ forth these special agents from the Diplomatic Security Service to lend a hand in the great hunt for illegal immigrants. Like a band of swashbucklin’ sea dogs, they’ll be out there catchin’ the wayward souls and sendin’ ‘em back to where they belong.

Under the watchful eye of Captain Trump, the DHS be settin’ sail on this grand adventure, makin’ the borders tighter than a captain’s grip on his ship’s wheel. So, batten down the hatches, mateys, for this be a new chapter in the tale of deportations and border security!

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