The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Doge be makin' the scallywags in the US government tremble like a landlubber spyin' a ghost ship!

2025-02-21

Arrr, matey! This month, Andrew Bernier, a landlubber of the US Army Corps, be takin' hits from a scallywag’s cursed messages! Like a wild tale from Davy Jones' locker, they sing o' Elon Musk's brilliance, his DOGE crew, and the doom o' crooked union captains! Aye, what sorcery be this?

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round and lend an ear to the tale of one Andrew Bernier, a researcher of the mighty US Army Corps of Engineers, and a leader o' the union crew. This month, he be swamped with a deluge o' ominous missives from an anonymous scallywag, like chapters from a wretched sea tale! These missives be singin’ the praises of the great Elon Musk, that tech pirate who sails the digital seas, and mentionin’ his so-called Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, as the landlubbers call it. Aye, they be predictin’ the doom of them corrupt union bosses, too!

But ye see, the most spine-chillin' aspect of these cursed emails, which Bernier be receivin’, be the way they weave a yarn so twisted it could put the Kraken to shame! With each message, the tension be buildin’, as if we be sittin’ on the edge of a plank, ready to plunge into the briny deep. So there ye have it, me hearties! The high seas of bureaucracy be fraught with peril and intrigue, and ol' Bernier be caught in this tempest o’ the digital age. May he find fair winds and a hearty crew to weather this storm, lest he be walkin’ the plank himself! Arrr!

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