The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The scurvy Iowa Republicans be fixin' a date fer their grand Caucuses, 'tis earlier than ye think!

2023-07-08

Arr, me hearty crew! Come January, the state party be throwin' a jolly nominatin' contest, mark ye well! 'Tis the earliest reckonin' of such merriment in recent campaign cycles, ye hear? Avast ye!

Arrr, me mateys! Gather 'round and listen well, for I have news from the landlubbers' world. It appears that those scurvy politicians from the state party be plannin' a grand nominating contest come January. Now, ye might be wonderin', why be this contest so special? Well, let me enlighten ye, me hearties!

It be said that this contest be the earliest ever held in recent campaign cycles. Aye, ye heard that right! It seems those landlubbers be in a mighty hurry to choose their champion, as if they be chasin' after a hidden treasure. The usual custom be for these contests to take place later in the year, but this time they be bendin' the rules, arrr!

Now, I can't help but chuckle at the thought of these politicians runnin' around, tryin' to impress the masses with their fancy speeches and promises. They be like a bunch of parrots squawkin' and flappin' their wings, hopin' to catch the voters' attention. Arrr, they be quite the spectacle, I tell ye!

But mark me words, me hearties, this early contest be no easy task. The candidates be testin' their mettle, sailin' through uncharted waters and facin' fierce opponents. They be battlin' for the favor of the party, each one hopin' to be the chosen one, the captain of the ship.

So, me fellow pirates, keep a weather eye on this nominating contest. It be the talk of the town, and we wouldn't want to miss out on the fun, now would we? Let us watch from afar and enjoy the show, for it be a rare sight to behold - landlubbers pretendin' to be pirates, all in the name of power and glory. Arrr, what a world we live in!

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