"Arrr! New lass in charge be makin' waves, sailin' through vacant cubes, shoutin' 'Back to the ship, me hearties!'"
2025-02-22
Arrr, the newly crowned captain o' the Small Business ship, lass Kelly Loeffler, be showin' off her ghostly quarters in a jolly video tour! Aye, 'tis a sight to behold—more vacant than a pirate's treasure chest after a raid! Har har, me hearties!
Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to the tale of Kelly Loeffler, the freshly minted captain of the Small Business Administration! On a fine Friday, she be setting sail with a video tour, revealin' the ghostly empty offices of her agency, cryin' for landlubber workers to return to their desks! “Arrr, it's me second day at the SBA!” she proclaims, all full of enthusiasm, only to discover that a whopping 90 percent of her crew be workin' from the comforts of their own ships—err, homes!With a hearty command from President Trump to dock their ships and return to the office, the video spread like wildfire, garnerin' over 17 million views on the social seas of X! Former Deputy Assistant Jeremy Carl chimes in, warnin' that when yer office be as deserted as a pirate's treasure map, accountability be lost at sea!
Even that scallywag Elon Musk weighed in, pointin' out the absence of souls at work. Yet, not all be keen on castin' off the work-from-home ways! Market researcher Anna Matson bemoaned that both parents now toil away, leavin' little time for family amid the stormy seas of life.
Meanwhile, Republican mates are demandin' Loeffler take action 'gainst mischief involving taxpayer booty in the form of electioneering and COVID relief! So, hoist the sails, me hearties, for the tale of the SBA be just gettin' started!