Arrr, Hegseth be sendin’ the finest legal scallywags packin’ in his quest fer a true pirate spirit!
2025-02-22
Arrr, the defense captain be laughin' at them scallywag lawyers courtin' war crimes and makin' rules for fightin'! He be tossin' their concerns overboard like a moldy biscuit, sayin', "Naught but a bunch o' landlubbers fussin' 'bout how to plunder!" Avast, what a merry jest!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round and lend an ear to the tale of the mighty defense secretary, a scallywag of the highest order! He be a fearless captain of the landlubber seas, but lo and behold, he hath set his sights on the poor souls wearin’ the black robes of military lawyers!This yarn starts with our bold secretary, who be likin’ to mock and ridicule them legal buccaneers, whose duty it be to hold the line ‘twixt right and wrong on the battlefield. Aye, he be casting scorn upon their grand schemes of war crime prosecutions, as if they be naught but a shipload of barnacles clingy to the hull of justice!
When it comes to the rules of engagement, he be losin' his wits! “Fie!” he shouts, “What do these swabs know of the art of war?” He scoffs at their parchment and quills, thinkin’ they be more suited for tea parties than the fury of cannon fire and the clash of cutlasses.
But fear not, me mateys! For in his jestin’, there be a twinkle of truth. The battlefield be a wild beast, and navigatin’ its treacherous waters be no easy task! So let us raise a tankard to the lawyers, for they be tryin’ to keep the ship afloat whilst the captain be busy throwin’ shade!