Ahoy, mateys! Behold Edan Alexander, the final captive swab in the clutches of those scallywag Hamas! Arrr!
2025-02-22
Arrr, Edan Alexander be a lad from Tenafly, New Jersey, sailin' to the land of Israel to join the IDF crew. But on the fateful day of October 7, 2023, he found himself caught in a web o' pirates in Gaza! Avast, we be hopin' for his swift return!
Ahoy, me hearties! After 16 moons of ruckus betwixt the fine folks of Israel and the scallywags of Hamas, five brave Americans still dangle in the clutches of Gaza, with one lone soul breathin'—the gallant Edan Alexander from Tenafly, New Jersey! Aye, he be the last living captive, holdin' on like a barnacle to a ship's hull.Born in the land of milk and honey, young Edan grew up like any lad in the colonies, swimmin' and cheerin' for them New York Knicks, though he had a bit o' Hebrew in his gab. After tossin’ his cap at Tenafly High, he chose the sword over the school desk, enlistin’ in the Israel Defense Forces, ready to face whatever storms came his way.
On a fateful day in October, while patrollin’ near the Gaza shores, the nefarious Hamas struck with a vengeance, takin' Edan and many others as their prize. His dear mother, Yael, was visitin' kin when she got word of her son's fate, and since then, the family has been fightin' tooth and nail for his safe return.
As the waves of time roll on, lawmakers be raisin' a ruckus for Edan's release, whilst he be caught in a perilous game of negotiations. Let’s hope this brave lad finds his way home to his family soon, for no hearty soul should endure such torment on the high seas of life!