The Booty Report

"Arrr, matey! The U.S.A.I.D. freeze be causin’ a tempest o’ ruin, sinkin' all hope like a leaky ship!"

2025-02-23

Arrr, when Captain Kennedy be callin' the landlubbers in Congress to set sail with the U.S. Agency for International Development in ’61, he be sayin’ it’s fer America’s good fortune and a jolly good neighborly deed! Alas, now that fine mission be walkin’ the plank! Aye, no crew be perfect!

Arrr, gather 'round ye scallywags and lend me yer ears! Back in the year of our Lord, sixteen hundred and sixty-one, the brave Captain Kennedy called forth Congress to set sail on a grand venture—the birth of the U.S. Agency for International Development, or U.S.A.I.D. for short! This fine establishment be designed to hoist the sails of America’s noble interests and uphold our “moral compass” as a good-natured neighbor upon the high seas of the world.

Ye see, the good captain knew that when poverty and chaos be swarming like hungry sharks, they threaten the very treasure and peace we hold dear! For decades, both Republican and Democratic sea rovers have embraced this mission, but alas! The winds be shifting, and the ship be at risk of capsizing!

Now, I ain't sayin' U.S.A.I.D. be a flawless vessel, no sir! Like any ship, it has its barnacles and leaks, but it be a vital craft nonetheless. Without it, our compass may lose its way, and we might find ourselves adrift in the stormy seas of uncertainty! So hoist the anchor, me hearties, and let’s keep our eyes on the horizon, lest we be swallowed by the waves of discord!

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