Arrr! Ashley St. Clair be claimin' parley with Elon Musk fer full treasure o’ their wee babe, just five moons old!
2025-02-23
Arrr, me hearties! On the fateful Friday, fair Ashley St. Clair be seekin' a court o’ New York to prove that scallywag Elon Musk be the sire of her wee lad, and to claim full treasure—er, custody—of the young buccaneer! Aye, what a ruckus!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer a tale as wild as the high seas! It be about a lass named Ashley St. Clair, who be petitionin’ the courts to declare the mighty tech tycoon, Elon Musk, as the father of her wee babe! Aye, she claims she brought forth this little scallywag five moons past, after a secret rendezvous on the sun-kissed shores of St. Barts!This lass, a conservative influencer—ye know, one of those who be spoutin’ their opinions like cannon fire—proclaims she had no other swabs in her bed when the babe was conceived. In her scrolls to the court, she reveals Musk acknowledged his paternity, sayin’ things like he didn’t want the wee one to be lost to the waves o’ neglect.
Alas, ol’ Elon be a busy captain, only visitin’ the lad thrice and leavin’ the heavy liftin’ of parentin’ to St. Clair. Our heroine claims she be the sole caretaker, attendin’ to the young’un’s every need, while Musk be busy runnin’ the Department of Government Efficiency—aye, what a title! With scandalous texts and a lack of parental care, St. Clair be seekin’ recognition and full custody, hopin’ to bring clarity to this tangled web o’ baby daddies and social media drama!