The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Elon Musk be commandin' the landlubbers to scribble their toil or walk the plank, savvy?

2025-02-23

Avast ye landlubbers! Federal scallywags be ordered to chart their week’s plunder or walk the plank! A missive from Captain Elon of the DOGE fleet demands five tales of their conquests, lest they find themselves tossed overboard, with naught but classified treasure to keep! Arrr!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round and lend me yer ears, for a tale of bureaucratic mischief be upon us! It seems the fine gents and lasses of the federal fleet be ordered to chart their every move from last week, lest they find themselves walkin' the plank of resignation!

This curious decree be sprung from the briny depths of a Saturday post by none other than the mighty Elon Musk, who now rules over the White House's Department of Government Efficiency, or as we salty sea dogs call it, DOGE! Aye, the irony be thick as a fog on a moonless night!

Our brave federal workers received a missive, demanding, "What did ye do last week?" It be a right curious query indeed! They be required to muster five bullet points—no less—of their week’s deeds, while steerin' clear of any classified booty, lest they face the wrath of their captains!

So, hoist the sails and put quills to parchment, for the bureaucratic seas be stormy! Will these landlubbers rise to the challenge, or will they be cast adrift in the sea of unemployment? Only time will tell, me hearties! Arrr!

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