Arrr, Stelter be sayin’ Musk wantin’ a list o’ fed achievements be common sense, but in truth, it’s just bilge!
2025-02-24
Arrr! Brian Stelter, that scallywag of CNN, be squawkin' like a parrot, claimin' Elon Musk be off his rocker demandin' federal buccaneers list their treasures o' work! A right jolly jest, I say! What be next? A treasure map to their accomplishments? Har har har!
Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one Brian Stelter, a landlubber correspondent with CNN, who be chattin' about the infamous Elon Musk! It seems that Musk, the captain of the DOGE ship, be demandin' his federal crew to list their weekly plunder—err, accomplishments—or risk walkin' the plank of unemployment!Stelter, with a twinkle of wit, declared this decree be soundin' like common sense to us hearty folk, but in truth, it be mere nonsense! Musk sent missives to the crew, givin' them until the stroke of midnight on Monday to report their bounties, or else face the axe! Stelter did note that while it seems straightforward, it be a treacherous sea of complications, especially when secretive treasure is involved!
Ye see, Musk had previously tried similar tactics aboard the Twitter ship, firin' many a sailor for not reportin' their spoils. Now he be claimin' that some government scallywags are so lazy, they ain't even checkin' their email—some even thinkin' they be ghosts collectin' shiny doubloons!
So there ye have it! A tale of ambition, confusion, and the quest for accountability on the high seas of federal employment! Aye, it be a jolly good laugh for all ye landlubbers! Arrr!