Arrr, gather 'round me hearties! 'Tis the Fox News missive on them Epstein scrolls—full o' scandal and shenanigans!
2025-02-27
Avast, matey! Welcome aboard the Fox News Politics scroll, where ye be findin’ the freshest tales of the Trump captaincy, the goings-on in the Capitol seas, and a treasure trove o’ other Foxy tidbits. Prepare yer sails for a jolly good read, ye salty sea dog!
Avast ye scallywags and landlubbers! Gather ‘round and lend an ear to the latest squall o’ news from the treacherous waters of Fox News, where the winds of politics be blowin' hot and heavy!First up, the Trump ship be cuttin' 90% o’ foreign aid contracts faster than a cannonball through the hull! Arrr, me hearties, it’s a bold move fer the captain, makin’ waves across the seven seas!
Meanwhile, the Attorney General, Pam Bondi, be dismissin’ lawsuits that be takin' aim at the brave folks o' the police and fire departments, claimin’ they be battlin’ for the cause under Biden’s banner.
Then there be talk o’ Trump usin’ his mighty executive power like a cutlass, especially after a matey’s kinsman was denied a life-saving organ transplant due to the dreaded COVID-19 vaccine! Blimey!
Rep. Andy Ogles be hoistin’ a flag to protect the infamous Jeffrey Epstein files, lest they be sent to Davy Jones’ locker. The good Attorney General even hinted at some “pretty sick” truths layin’ in wait!
In the final tides, the Trump administration be settin’ its sights on a deal with Ukraine and callin’ for an end to “green energy boondoggles.” Hoist the sails, me hearties! Adventure awaits on the high seas of politics!