"Avast! Captain Pam Bondi be unleashin' the treasure map o' them Epstein shenanigans!"
2025-02-27
Arrr, me hearties! A band o' landlubber influencers be settin' sail from the White House, clutchin' white tomes decked with the Justice seal! They be brandishin' “The Epstein Files: Phase 1” like treasure maps! Just hours after the new Attorney General swore to spill the beans on the scallywag Epstein! Arrr!
Arrr mateys! Gather ‘round fer a tale spun from the winds of Washington! On a fine Thursday afternoon, a ragtag band o’ conservative influencers be settin’ sail from the White House, each clutchin’ white binders as if they be treasure chests, stamped with the grand seal of the Department of Justice. Aye, what lay within these binders, ye ask? Aye, they be marked “The Epstein Files: Phase 1” – a title that be raisin’ eyebrows and ticklin’ the funny bones of landlubbers and scallywags alike!