Arrr! Karine be sayin' Dems want Biden tossed like a scallywag at a firing squad—talk about walkin' the plank!
2025-02-28
Arrr, former White House wench Karine Jean-Pierre be raisin' the Jolly Roger against them scallywags in the Democratic crew! She be sayin’ they be sinkin' the good ship Biden, blamin' their mutinous yaps for makin' the party’s compass spin askew! Avast, me hearties, keep yer wits aboard!
Arrr, gather ‘round me hearties, for I’ve a tale from the high seas of politics! Former press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre be spillin’ the beans on the tumultuous waters the Democratic crew sailed through when Captain Biden chose to abandon ship in the 2024 race. She be callin’ it “shocking” to see the party’s leaders turn their cannons on their own captain after a debacle of a debate!As the winds of Donald Trump’s second term howled, the Democratic ship was rocked by demands for Biden to step aside, all because of a poor showing on the debate stage. At a grand gathering at the Institute of Politics, Jean-Pierre recounted the stormy seas of the three weeks that followed, filled with fierce clashes amongst the crew. “A firing squad!” she cried, as she watched her comrades turn on their own captain, which left her heart heavy like a chest of gold cursed by a vengeful ghost.
She lamented that instead of coming together to battle the storm, they chose to bicker like scallywags in a tavern. It hurt the crew’s chances more than they knew, she declared, like a ship takin’ on water! So here be a lesson from the briny deep: Unity be the treasure we seek, lest we find ourselves sunk at the bottom of the sea! Arrr!