Arrr, Trump be sayin’ he won’t scuttle the Eagles’ tush push, but curses the kickoff rule like a scurvy sea dog!
2025-02-28
Arrr, matey! Ye be hearin' the squawkin' o' landlubbers callin' fer the Eagles' cheeky “tush push” to walk the plank! But lo, it seems Cap’n Trump be too busy swabbin' the deck to be makin' such orders any time soon! Avast, let ‘em push!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round for a tale from the high seas of sportin' spectacle. There be a ruckus a-brewin' 'bout a play known as the "tush push," which be a key to th' Philadelphia Eagles' triumphs. Yet, lo and behold, Cap'n Donald Trump be standin' firm on keepin' it afloat! Arrr, he witnessed firsthand the glory of this play when the Eagles claimed victory over the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl LIX, with Jalen Hurts makin' it a highlight of the day!When asked if he’d put an end to this controversial maneuver, Trump declared, "I wouldn’t ban it!" Aye, the Eagles have been usin' this tactic like a trusty cutlass since Hurts took the helm, workin’ wonders with a success rate that’d make any pirate proud!
But, shiver me timbers, he did have a bone to pick with a different rule—the wretched kickoff! This be an abomination, he says, as it puts players in danger without the noble defense! "It’s much more dangerous," he bellowed, and even had words with Roger Goodell about it!
Now, the Green Bay Packers wish to toss the tush push overboard, claimin' it should’ve been outlawed ages ago! But fear not, mateys, for Trump promises to invite the Eagles to the White House to celebrate their grand victory! A jolly good time awaits!