"Arrr, the posh scallywag o’ Princeton be tryin’ to shuffle off this mortal coil whilst his poor brother’s buried!"
2025-03-01
Arrr, a scallywag from New Jersey be accused of sendin’ his brother to Davy Jones' locker, claimin’ he fancied a taste o’ his peeper! In a fit o’ despair, he tried to take the plunge himself, lest the gallows claim him first. Blimey, what a merry mess!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer the tale of a New Jersey scallywag, Matthew Hertgen, a 31-year-old knave accused of sendin’ his own brother, Joseph, to Davy Jones’ locker in a gruesome manner! Legend has it he wielded a knife and a golf club, turnin’ a family abode into a scene most foul, rippin’ out an eye and, dare I say, tryin’ to feast upon it! Aye, the poor cat met a fiery fate as well, earnin’ him a charge of animal cruelty.After his dastardly deed, ol’ Hertgen found himself behind bars, and just hours after a virtual court meetin’, he tried to end his own miseries, attemptin’ to hang himself in his dingy cell! The authorities found him in a right sorry state, and his brother’s wake was soon held, reflectin’ on the good-hearted lad who enjoyed a good game o’ chess and the like.
Now, whispers of madness swirl around Matthew, and his defense may be lookin’ to plead insanity, reckonin’ he’s got some dark storm brewin' in that noggin of his. A pre-trial hearing is set fer March 6, so stay tuned, me hearties! The seas of justice be choppy, and this here saga be far from over! Yarrr!