Arrr, mateys! OPM be sendin' a second missive, demandin' tales of last week's shenanigans — and a report, too!
2025-03-01
Arrr, matey! The Trump ship be sendin’ another missive to the crew, askin’ 'bout their treasure o' achievements, while the bold Musk scours the seas o' federal waste with the good ol' Department o' Efficiency. Savvy? A jolly fine mess, indeed!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the latest caper from the Department of Government Efficiency, or as we landlubbers call it, DOGE! The fine scallywags over at OPM be sendin’ out missives, askin’ federal crews to spill the beans on what treasure they’ve plundered in the past week. It be akin to a captain demandin’ a ship’s log, but with less grog and more paperwork!This week’s message, titled "What did ye do last week? Part II," be a follow-up to a previous parchment. But instead of a sprightly agency messenger, it looks like the big wigs at OPM took the helm! They be wantin’ five shiny bullet points detailing accomplishments by the stroke of midnight on Monday—no secrets or classified booty allowed. If yer work be too hush-hush, just say, "All me activities be sensitive!" Aye, that’ll keep the sharks at bay!
Even the notorious Elon Musk, in a fit of mischief, called it a “pulse check,” like he be takin’ the ship’s temperature! Ol' Trump, when cornered by the Frenchie captain Macron, declared that failure to respond might leave ye walkin’ the plank straight into the unemployment abyss! So hoist yer sails and get to typin’, or face the wrath of the high seas of bureaucracy!