Arrr! The Trump crew scuttles the Obama tech ship, 18F be sunk to Davy Jones' locker, har har!
2025-03-03
Arrr, mateys! On the morn of Saturday, the grim tidings sailed forth to 85 scallywags of 18F, a once-bright treasure of tech! Aye, it be sinkin’ like a ship with a hole! The word came via an email from Thomas Shedd, a landlubber who once wrangled electric chariots!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round, for I’ve got a tale of woe from the landlubber shores of bureaucracy! It seems that on a fine Saturday morn, a missive was dispatched, dooming a merry crew of 85 scallywags from the fabled vessel known as 18F—once hailed as Uncle Sam’s very own tech startup, akin to treasure upon the high seas!Arrr, back in the day, this fine crew was charged with the noble quest of makin’ government technology shine brighter than a pirate’s gold doubloon! But alas, foul winds be a-blowin’, and the order to abandon ship came straight from the helm of Thomas Shedd, a former Tesla tinkerer turned deputy commissioner of the Federal Acquisition Service. Aye, he be settin’ the purchasing policies for the kingdom, but what be this? A raid on innovation?
With naught but an email in the early morn, the fate of these brave souls was sealed. Like a ship caught in a tempest, their dreams of tech glory were dashed against the rocks of federal policy. So raise yer tankards, me mateys, for this be a lesson in the perilous waters of government work—where treasure maps can lead to naught but Davy Jones’ locker. Here’s to the fallen crew of 18F! May their spirits haunt the halls of tech forevermore!