The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Kim Jong Un be a jolly scallywag, known fer his rumbustious cravings fer European grog 'n grub. Aye, 'tis true, matey!

2023-07-09

Avast, me hearties! 'Tis been said that the infamous Kim Jong Un, a scurvy dog of a North Korean dictator, hath a taste for the grog and feasts upon grand European fare like Parma ham, as told by the wise Anthony Glees, a knowledgeable matey.

According to a defense expert, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has a taste for popular European food and alcohol, particularly Parma ham and whiskey. The expert, Professor Anthony Glees, revealed that Kim is the 36th richest man in the world and owns two special Maybach Mercedes S600s, 17 palaces, and a private plane. Additionally, Kim is known for his heavy drinking, smoking, and indulging in expensive Yves Saint Laurent black "ciggies" and big portions of Parma ham.

Glees also mentioned that Kim has earned a nickname that translates to "the fat one" in English, as he is noticeably overweight. South Korea's intelligence service previously speculated that Kim may be suffering from insomnia and abusing alcohol and tobacco, estimating his weight to be around 300 pounds. They also suggested that he may be "hoarding" insomnia medications.

This is not the first time that concerns about Kim's health have been raised, as he had skipped important events earlier this year. Glees criticized Kim as "murderous" and "not just bonkers," citing instances of brutal executions carried out by the North Korean leader, including the use of flamethrowers and anti-aircraft missiles.

Overall, the report portrays Kim Jong Un as a wealthy and indulgent leader with an affinity for European delicacies and excessive drinking, smoking, and eating habits.

Read the Original Article