Arrr, Riley Gaines be ponderin' a run for office, battlin' Dems lettin' scallywags in the lassies' sportin' seas!
2025-03-04
Arrr, matey! Riley Gaines be spoutin’ to Fox News that she might hoist the Jolly Roger for public office one day! Aye, she’s got a role model in the back of her noggin, ready to swagger like a true captain of the seas! Avast, what a merry notion!
Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of a lass named Riley Gaines, a former swimmer turned fierce advocate sailin' the turbulent seas of women's sports! This scallywag has set her sights on unseatin' any Democrat who dares to let trans athletes into the fair maidens’ leagues. With nary a care, 45 senators found themselves on her black list after the Senate voted against the "Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act."Our cap’n of fairness took to the shores of Minnesota, rallyin' the good folk to protect the fairer sex, but alas, the winds were not in her favor, and the bill sank faster than a ship with a hole in its hull. Yet fear not, for this brave lass ain't givin' up! With visions of battlin' the Democrats in the 2026 midterms, she eyes a future in politics, sayin', “I’m not mad enough yet, but who knows?”
With the spirit of a true pirate, she admires the likes of Tulsi Gabbard for her fierce stance. Gaines, now a rising star in the conservative realm, even hath a law named after her! So, keep yer eye on this fiery buccaneer, for she’s ready to set sail against the tides of the DNC and claim her treasure of justice for women! Raise yer mugs to Riley, the fierce defender of the seas of sport!