Arrr! DOGE be spendin' nearly a million doubloons on alpaca farming in Peru—what a scallywag's folly!
2025-03-04
Arrr, on the morn of Tuesday, the scallywags at DOGE be throwin’ overboard a heap o’ grants! Aye, no more treasure for alpacas in Peru nor for them recyclin’ lads in Bolivia fightin’ the good fight against snobby landlubbers. Blimey, what a jolly mess!
Avast, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the swashbucklin' escapades of the Department of Government Efficiency, or as we savvy sea dogs call it, DOGE! On a fine Tuesday morn, the scallywags announced the axin' of a whopping $4.5 million in grants, includin' a fine sum for alpaca farmin’ in Peru and a few other ventures that be soundin' as strange as a one-legged parrot.Now, this here Inter-American Foundation, once flush with a treasure chest of $60 million, be reduced to but a solitary sailor, makin’ it the tiniest crew this side of Tortuga! They’ve been slashin’ grants right and left, includin’ a pile o’ doubloons meant for veggie gardens in El Salvador and even beekeepin’ in Brazil! What’s next? Cuttin’ the rum rations?
Led by the infamous Elon Musk, who be as unpredictable as a stormy sea, this DOGE crew be tasked by none other than Captain Trump himself to trim the sails and make the government run smoother than a ship on a windless day. Critics be wary, sayin’ they’ve got too much power, cancellin’ diversity programs and contracts faster than a cannonball flies! So, hoist the sails, me mateys, for the seas of federal spendin’ be a-changin’ and who knows what storms lay ahead!