Arrr, it be mighty tough not to holler at such a jabberin' fool on the deck!
2025-03-05
Arrr, me hearties! ’Twas a jolly poor day for Cap’n Trump to shout to Congress that “America’s wind be back!” Just prior, the treasure stocks dipped like a scallywag plunderin’ on a stormy sea, thanks to his daft choice to tax his own mateys!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the day when the mighty Captain Trump did stand before the grand assembly of Congress, proclaimin' with bravado, “America’s momentum be back!” Aye, but lo and behold, just afore he made his bold declaration, the stock market was takin' a nosedive deeper than Davey Jones’ locker, teeterin' on the brink of a correction! Argh!Ye see, this tumultuous tumble be the result of the crew's great unease over the captain’s peculiar choice to hoist the banner of tariffs upon what were once trusted allies. ‘Twas as if he had set sail into a storm without a compass, and the crew were none too pleased! The markets were shiverin' in their boots, fearin' the winds of trade war blowin' fierce and foul.
So, as Captain Trump brandished his sword of decree, the stock ticker was plummetin' like a cannonball from the crow's nest. A day of high seas and low spirits, indeed! Let this be a lesson to ye all: when the winds of the economy be turnin’, best ye be checkin’ yer charts before makin’ grand claims of momentum returnin’. Aye, the sea be a fickle mistress, and so be the markets!