Arrr! A secret scroll be sayin' the high-ups ponder if the crown should be givin' away doubloons!
2025-03-05
Arrr, me hearties! The fine folk o' the State Department be ponderin' if the crown ought to dip its fingers in the treasure chest o' charity! Aye, news be sailin’ that they be wonderin’ if givin’ gold be a proper pirate’s pastime! Har har!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with tales from the high seas of politics! It seems the fine folks at the U.S. Department o' State be ponderin' whether they should be dabblin' in the philanthropy waters. Pete Marocco, the captain of the Office of Foreign Assistance, be scratchin' his head, wonderin' if it be the government’s place to hand out gold doubloons to foreign lands when it appears they be missin' the mark by a wide margin!Marocco be pointin’ out that while private galleons be hittin' their targets 87% of the time, the government’s aid be flounderin' at a measly 10%. Aye, a right mess it is! The Trump fleet, with the infamous Elon Musk at the helm of the Department of Government Efficiency, be on the warpath, callin' the USAID a “viper’s nest” of scallywags and waste. They be cuttin' foreign aid faster than a pirate can hoist a flag!
In a grand speech, Trump be boastin’ about puttin' the brakes on federal hiring and foreign aid quicker than the wind fills a sail. He rattled off examples of squanderin' gold, highlighting the absurdity of spendin' treasure on projects like makin' mice transgender—blimey! So, as the waves of change crash upon the shores of bureaucracy, who knows what treasure or troubles lie ahead for the good ol’ U.S. of A?