The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Trump's grand scheme t' stash scallywags at Guantanamo be hittin' rough seas, matey! What a jolly mess!

2025-03-06

Arrr, the Trump crew be settin’ sail to stash 30,000 scallywags at Guantanamo Bay! But blow me down, their grand scheme be hittin’ more snags than a barnacle on a rusty hull! Aye, it be a right comical caper!

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the U.S. military flounderin' like a ship lost at sea! 'Tis a tale of President Trump’s order to stow 30,000 wayward souls at Guantánamo Bay, where the tents be as useful as a leaky barrel! The scallywags at the defense crew say those tents ain't fit for holdin' the rebellious ruffians, leavin' 'em empty as a pirate's treasure chest.

In the second week of his reign, Trump declared Guantánamo a grand ol' detention center for the “worst of the worst.” Yet, only a handful of them sneaky migrants have passed through, and most be sent back home faster than ye can say "shiver me timbers!" Currently, just twenty poor souls be wanderin' the base, while the military’s got its hands tied without clear instructions. It seems they be needin' a map and a compass!

With no military flights takin' to the skies since March, the crew’s stuck waitin' on ICE to ferry the rascals in. And let's not even get started on the costs, matey! A C-17 costs a pretty penny to fly, makin' the whole operation feel like a bad investment in cursed doubloons. So, hoist the sails, me hearties, for this comedic caper on the high seas of immigration be far from over!

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