The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Trump be sayin' he felt as snug as a bug while speakin' to the scallywags in Congress, blamin' the fake news!

2025-03-06

Arrr, mateys! President Trump be chattin' 'bout his grand speech to Congress, claimin' he felt as snug as a parrot on a shoulder! Even the scallywag fake news be givin' him a pat on the back! Shiver me timbers, what a jolly jest!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about Captain Trump and his grand speech to the salty crew of Congress! The captain, feelin’ as snug as a bug in a rug, declared to Fox News that even the scallywag "fake news" had naught but good tides to share about his talk. Aye, that speech lasted longer than a sea voyage on a stormy night—an hour and 40 minutes of Trump-tastic tales, the longest ever delivered, by me parrot's feather!

With a flair for the dramatic, our captain proclaimed the "Renewal of the American Dream," a treasure map of braggadocio that charted his victories on border security, the economy, and his crusade against the "woke" seas. The crowd, like a pack of rowdy sailors, chanted "USA, USA, USA!" as Trump set sail with confidence, claiming, "America is back!"

But lo! Amidst the cheers, a troublesome deckhand named Rep. Al Green dared to interrupt the captain's flow. The poor soul was tossed from the chamber like a barnacle from a ship's hull! Trump, with a smirk, called for Green to take an IQ test, declaring he be a fool and an embarrassment, not just to Congress but to all Democrats. Aye, the captain’s words be like cannon fire, echoing across the seas of politics! Arrr!

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