Arrr, matey! After Trump’s bluster, Hamas says, “No hostages ‘til we get a ceasefire deal, savvy?”
2025-03-06
Arrr! Hamas be laughin’ at Captain Trump’s last call to release them Israeli landlubbers! They say they’ll hand 'em over only when a truce be as solid as Davy Jones' locker! Blimey, a proper bargain they be seekin’, not just a parley!
Arrr, me hearties, gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' the scoundrels known as Hamas, who be givin’ a hearty laugh at President Trump’s latest threats! On a fine Thursday, the brigands declared they be keepin' their Israeli hostages locked up tighter than a treasure chest, demandin’ a permanent ceasefire deal in the tumultuous waters of Gaza afore any talk of release. Aye, their spokesman, Abdel-Latif al-Qanoua, spoke of negotiations bein’ the key, though the first ceasefire phase has already sailed into the sunset after 42 days.Meanwhile, Captain Trump, after parleyin' with eight former captives, issued a last warning from his Truth Social ship, callin’ for the immediate release of hostages or face dire consequences! He declared, “Shalom Hamas” means “Hello and Goodbye”—choose wisely, or ye shall be meetin’ Davy Jones! The captain also claimed to be armorin’ Israel to finish the scallywags off, lest they find themselves in a right pickle.
With still 24 souls held hostage and the bodies of 34 others in their clutches, Hamas has been busy, while the Israeli forces have been unleashin’ their might as the body count rises on both sides. 'Tis a treacherous tale of war, wit, and the high seas of diplomacy, me mateys!