Arrr! Trump be sendin' a jolly message to lost sea-farin' stars, claimin' he might join the rescue crew!
2025-03-06
Arrr! On this fine Thursday, Captain Trump be swearin’ to hoist back me hearties, Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore, marooned at yonder floating ship, the International Space Station, for nigh eight moons! Aye, he’s settin’ sail to rescue ‘em faster than a scallywag’s parrot can squawk!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of high seas and even higher skies! It be the day when President Donald Trump, in his grand chamber known as the Oval Office, swore an oath to rescue two brave NASA lads, Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams, who’ve been marooned 'mongst the stars fer a whole eight moons!“Elon Musk be readyin’ a vessel to fetch the poor souls!” he declared to the landlubber press, spoutin’ love and promises to bring 'em back from their celestial shenanigans. These brave scallywags were stuck aboard the International Space Station due to a cursed Boeing Starliner that refused to sail home safely.
Now, it seems the mission was meant to last but a mere eight days, but those tech troubles turned it into a long voyage. Ol’ Biden, it be said, left 'em hangin’ up there out of sheer embarrassment, while Trump called him the “most incompetent captain in history.” Aye, the jests be flyin’ like cannonballs!
Come next Wednesday, SpaceX’s Dragon ship be risin’ to the heavens to reclaim our stranded sea dogs, with Trump ponderin’ if he should join the escapade—“Should I go on that journey just to be on the ship when we stop?” he quipped, much to the chuckles of all present.
So raise yer tankards to space folk and their merry captain! Arrr!