Arrr, matey! A landlubber speaks o' wild changes from Congress, like a parrot on a treasure map!
2025-03-06
Arrr! It be said by good ol' Rep. Ciscomani, that the scallywags in them border towns be livin' the high life after the Trump crew made some swift policy magic. Aye, life be smoother than a fresh bottle o' rum, matey!
Arrr, mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a tale from the briny deep of politics! Life in them border towns be lookin’ brighter, thanks to some swift shifts from the Trump ship, says Captain Juan Ciscomani, a fine Republican from Arizona. The good captain be claimin’ that the folk be happier than a pirate with a chest o’ gold, with encounters o' migrants droppin’ like cannonballs in February, the lowest ye ever did see!With a mighty influx of troops and a good ol’ designation of cartels as foreign scallywags, the seas be calmer for the townsfolk. Old Juan, with a crew of fresh GOP mates, be settin’ sail to explore them border waters, chattin’ with the local sea captains and patrols. He be sayin’ that many a landlubber in Congress ain’t even laid eyes on the Arizona shores, which be unique, aye!
But fear not, for the captain knows the waters be treacherous still. He be pushin’ to make them Trump-era changes stick like barnacles, lest they face another storm like the Biden days. And lo! A new law be on the horizon to keep them rascally fleein’ landlubbers in check! Workin’ with both ships o’ the political fleet, Ciscomani be keen to keep them waters safe from the likes of illicit trade. So hoist the sails, me hearties, for change be a-comin’! Arrr!