Arrr, Noem's crew be callin' for the end o' tall tales! She only shelled out two doubloons, not six-fifty!
2025-03-07
Avast, mateys! Homeland Security’s fair lass Kristi Noem be raisin’ a ruckus, sendin’ her legal crew to a South Dakota scallywag, demandin’ they fix their tall tales. Seems they be claimin’ she plundered $650K on her treasure card! Arrr, the seas of rumor be treacherous!
Ahoy me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of the high seas of political scallywaggery! It be a ruckus brewin' in the land of South Dakota, where the fierce Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem be raisin' her flag against a media vessel known as The Dakota Scout! Aye, her lawyers be sendin' a cease-and-desist scroll demandin' they stop spreadin' tales that she spent a treasure trove o' hundreds of thousands o' doubloons on a government credit card while donning the governor’s hat.Ye see, the rascals at The Dakota Scout claimed she swiped more than $650,000, but upon closer look, it turns out our fair governor only laid claim to a mere $2,056.72! The letter from her legal crew be callin' their reports “false and misleading,” and they demand a course correction or face a mutiny of legal troubles! The outlet be claimin' they stand by their tales, likin' the attention they be garnerin' from this tempest.
But alas! It appears the winds of truth may be blowin' in Noem's favor, as she be tellin' the world she spent less than a ship’s biscuit on her own card. So, grab yer eyepatches and watch as this saga unfolds, for it be a jolly good show on the seas of politics!