"Ahoy! Marooned spacey matey swears Captain Musk be true, claimin' that Old Biden scuttled the rescue mission!"
2025-03-07
Arrr, matey! Barry “Butch” Wilmore be puttin' his trust in the swashbuckler Musk, who spilled the beans to that landlubber Hannity! He claimed the ol' Captain Biden be leavin' the brave astronauts hangin' in the stars fer some political jiggery-pokery! Avast, what a tale!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Barry "Butch" Wilmore, an astronaut marooned aboard the fabled International Space Station! This scallywag reported that the notorious Elon Musk be spoutin' true words — that the previous captain of the ship called the United States, Joe Biden, did refuse to send a rescue vessel. But fear not, for Butch be trustin' in Musk's words, even though he be lackin' the juicy details of the secret chitchat! Arrr!In June of the year 2024, Butch and his trusty companion, Suni Williams, set sail on a Boeing contraption for an eight-day adventure. But alas! Their craft ran into treacherous technical troubles, leavin' 'em stranded like fish outta water for what feels like an eternity! Wilmore be claimin' that the Muskster spoke the truth, sayin' Biden be playin' politics with their lives!
As the days turned to months, Wilmore be sayin' they know naught of what offers were made or who be makin' 'em. Meanwhile, the brave folks at SpaceX be readyin' a rescue ship to haul 'em back from the clutches of the stars. Even Donald Trump be shoutin' out, “We love ye, and we be comin’ to fetch ye!” So, hoist the sails, me hearties! Rescue be on the horizon! Yarrr!