Arrr, Tulsi be soundin' the trumpet! The scallywags in Syria be makin' minced meat of the poor souls!
2025-03-08
Arrr, whilst the U.N. and them Euro lads be tryin' to charm the scallywag Ahmed al-Sharaa with sweet talks of sanction-free gold, his crew be settin' sail on a bloody voyage, claimin' the lives of countless poor Alawite souls! A right jolly mess, I tells ye!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn of chaos upon the shores of Syria! Our lass, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, be warnin’ of a bloody takeover by scallywags linked to al-Qaeda. The new captain of the ship, a former al-Qaeda rogue, be raisin' havoc, slayin’ Alawite folk and poor Christians alike!In less than two days, over 340 innocent souls met their maker, most bein’ from the Alawite crew, as reported by the vigilant Rami Abdulrahman. Gabbard, with her fiery tongue, spoke against the treacherous ways of leaders who be cozyin’ up to Islamist rogues, callin' them rebels whilst they dance upon the graves of the fallen!
Yonder in the Al-Ghab region, an Alawite lass spoke of her harrowing plight. Armed rogues stormed her humble abode, their hearts as black as the deepest ocean. They proclaimed the Alawites as “pigs” to be executed without mercy! Such villainy has led to the death of good folk, includin’ an elderly cleric and his kin.
The winds of terror blow strong, and with every passing tide, cries for protection echo across the waves. The Alawite community beseeches the mighty to lend a hand, for they face annihilation at the hands of these treacherous brigands. Yarrr, what a perilous tale indeed!