"Arrr, beware ye landlubbers! This tale be a fright to them leafy munchers—some vegans be walkin' the plank!"
2025-03-11
Arrr, matey! This scallywag of a film scribe be soundin’ the alarm for poor critters, not just the swashbucklin’ on the screen! Even yer mornin’ brew o’ milk and them eggs be walkin’ the plank of cruelty! Blimey, what’s a pirate to eat?
Arrr matey! Gather 'round, fer I’ve a tale of a scallywag, a film critic, who be makin’ waves on the high seas of cinema! This buccaneer of reviews don’t just be raisin’ the flag o’ cruelty on the silver screen, nay! He be soundin’ the vegan alarm bells for them innocent critters that be sufferin’ behind the scenes, aye!This landlubber, with quill in hand and a belly full o’ kale, be settin’ his sights on more than just the blood’n gore of pirate battles. Nay, he’s takin’ a stand against the dastardly deeds of the dairy and egg industry too! He be shoutin’ from the crow’s nest, “Avast ye! No more milk from the moo cows! No more eggs from the henhouses!” Such boldness could make a mere landlubber’s head spin faster than a cannonball in a whirlpool!
So, if ye be sittin’ in a tavern watchin’ a film about swashbucklin’ and treasure, keep yer grubby paws off the cheese platter, lest ye be caught in the sights of this vegan captain! He’ll have ye walkin’ the plank if ye dare support such treacherous trades! Aye, it be a merry world where even the critters get their say, and this critic be leadin’ the charge for their freedom! Arrr!