Arrr! Trump’s trusty matey Witkoff be sailin' to Russia again this week, says me secret spy parrot!
2025-03-11
Arrr, matey! Word be sailin’ that Steve Witkoff, the U.S. envoy o’ the Middle Seas, be settin’ his compass for Russia this week! A trusty source be spillin’ the beans to Fox News! Avast ye, let the treasure hunt begin!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye tidings from the high seas of diplomacy! U.S. envoy Steve Witkoff be settin’ sail fer Russia this week, seekin’ another parley with the infamous czar, Vladimir Putin! Aye, this be the second time the two scallywags be meetin’, the first bein’ an epic three-hour confab back in February, all fer the sake o’ a poor landlubber named Marc Fogel, who be stuck behind bars.The Kremlin, those crafty devil fish, hinted at a possible swap of prisoners, like a game of catch ‘n release. Meanwhile, Witkoff be joinin' forces with Secretary Marco Rubio and National Security Advisor Mike Waltz in the sands of Saudi Arabia, parleyin’ with Ukrainian gents to find a way to end the ruckus between Ukraine and Russia. The Ukrainian crew includes high-ranking mates like Andriy Yermak and Rustem Umerov, who be lucky to have survived a poisoning attempt!
Rubio, with his eye on the prize, be stressin’ the need fer clear intentions from the Ukrainians, who might have to make some tough choices, like givin’ up treasure that be snatched by Russia. So, keep yer spyglasses ready, for this be a tale of negotiations as tumultuous as a stormy sea!