Arrr! Dave Portnoy be spillin’ the beans 'bout a strange government offer, sayin’ he'd trade Barstool for a fancy hat!
2025-03-11
Arrr, matey! Dave Portnoy, the scallywag behind Barstool Sports, be spillin' the beans 'bout a strange call from the landlubbers of the government! They offered him a job that’d shackle him from his media treasure! He be callin' it "weird," like a parrot wearin' a tricorn hat!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about one Dave Portnoy, the scallywag behind Barstool Sports. This buccaneer was approached by the landlubber government, seekin’ his expertise for a position in the Department of Commerce. Aye, he called it a “weird” encounter, akin to a jolly roger waving in a storm!In a chat with the salty dog Stuart Varney on Fox, Portnoy beamed with mirth, speakin’ of the peculiar offer. They wanted him to join the ranks of the mighty, but there be a catch! He’d have to hand over the reins of Barstool to another scallywag! “How could I, Captain of me ship, sail two vessels at once?” he pondered, eyeing the horizon.
With a chuckle, Portnoy mused upon Elon Musk, the notorious captain of Tesla and DOGE, wonderin' how the swashbuckler juggles both. “Can ye run a ship when yer busy plunderin’ treasure elsewhere?” he questioned, scratching his beard.
In the end, the offer was as empty as a treasure chest after a raid; no follow-up came. So, Portnoy stays the captain of his Barstool ship, sailin’ the seas of sports and merriment, while the government’s call be just a whisper in the wind! Arrr!