Arrr! Trump be turnin' Biden's CBP One into a jolly self-deportation contraption, matey! Yarr, what a scallywag!
2025-03-11
Arrr, mateys! The Trump crew be bringin' back the Border Patrol app, lettin' landlubbers tell the government they be settin' sail homeward! Once called CBP One under Captain Biden, now it be CBP Home, claimin' it be the finest way for scallywags to skedaddle!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to a tale most curious from the high seas of politics! The rascals in the Trump crew be relaunchin' a contraption called the Border Patrol app, now decked out with a fresh name—CBP Home, fersooth!This here magic box o' technology be givin' those poor souls who be sailin' without proper charts, I mean, legal status, the chance to hoist the sails and self-deport, aye! Aye, ye heard me right! It be like a captain tellin' his crew to abandon ship whilst the cannons be a-blazin'!
Under the old captain Biden, it was known as CBP One, but now, under the fine guidance of the Trump ship, it be all about safety, savvy? They be claimin' it’s the safest way to bid farewell to the land of opportunity—like makin' yer escape from a treacherous island with naught but a rowboat!
So, me mateys, if ye find yerselves in a pickle, just whip out yer magical app and notify the gub'ment ye be leavin’! It be a strange world we sail through, where ye can send a message to the enemy while ye plot yer getaway. Now, raise a tankard to this fine farce, and may fair winds guide ye on yer journey! Arrr!