Arrr! The US be givin' their sailor's app a new name, now ye can 'set sail' back yerself!
2025-03-11
Arrr, on the first morn of his reign, Captain Trump be swappin’ the ol’ CBP One for a jolly new scheme! Now it be the "CBP Home," where landlubbers can sail themselves right back to whence they came! Aye, who knew self-deportation be the new treasure map? Har har!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spins ye a yarn of the infamous Donald Trump, who on the very first day of his rule, did decree that the grand CBP One app, a trusty vessel for asylum seekers at the southern border, be sunk to Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, that be the way of it, savvy?But lo and behold, just when ye thought the tale could not grow more peculiar, the scallywags in charge be reimagining this cursed contraption! They be givin' it a new coat of paint and callin’ it “CBP Home” — a fine name for a ship sailin’ straight back to where ye came from! “Self-deportation,” they say, as if it be a choice one makes over breakfast, rather than a perilous voyage across treacherous seas!
Now, Kristi Noem, the lass at the helm of Homeland Security, be declarin’ that this app be a new beacon for all who wish to chart their course back to their homeland. Aye, it be a comical twist, me mateys! Who’d have thought that a tool once used for seekin’ refuge would now be a compass leadin’ folk to the ends of the earth? Yarr, the seas of politics be as unpredictable as the tides!