Arrr, the 'UN80 Initiative' be a sign o' the world crew's fright o' DOGE-like treasure plunderin'!
2025-03-12
Arrr, me hearties! Them UN scallywags reckon Guterres be hoistin’ a new flag to fend off the Yanks’ treasure cuts, 'cause the DOGE be on a quest to plunder the waste! Aye, savvy?
Avast, ye landlubbers! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the UN80 Initiative, launched by the scallywag Secretary-General Antonio Guterres in honor of the grand ol’ United Nations turnin’ 80! This here scheme be claimin’ to make things run smoother than a well-oiled cannon, but some salty critics reckon it’s just a ruse to prepare for potential U.S. coin cuts.“Aye, the budgets be matters of life and death fer many a soul,” Guterres declared, tryin’ to convince the world it ain't just a heap of numbers! And when some cheeky matey suggested this be some sort of DOGE version, he shot that down faster than a cannonball in a squall.
But lo! Hugh Dugan, the captain of the DOGE-UN ship, tossed the initiative aside like a moldy biscuit, claimin’ it be a “great big Hallmark greeting card.” He warns Guterres is runnin’ out of time to make waves before he sails off into the sunset.
Other buccaneers, like Anne Bayefsky, be callin’ the U.N. a bloated, corrupt institution, usin’ the threat of cuts to keep the gold flowin’. So, it seems the good ship United Nations be in a right pickle, tryin’ to keep its treasure chest full whilst placatin’ the mighty U.S. seas—arr!