The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Non-Sanctuary New York’s joinin’ forces with ICE to send landlubbers home! A merry chase, mateys!"

2025-03-13

Arrr, mateys! Nassau County be the first land in the U.S. to strike a deal with the customs crew to send rogues and scallywags packin’! Governor Blakeman be shoutin’ it from the crow’s nest! While New York be a haven, Nassau be no safe harbor for landlubbers!

Ahoy there, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye tidings from the shores of Nassau County, where a grand spectacle has unfolded! This fair county be the first in all the United States to shake hands with the scallywags at U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, makin’ a pact to send off them ruffians and landlubbers who be dwellin' here without permission, as proclaimed by the bold captain Bruce Blakeman! Argh!

Now, unlike the bustling streets of New York City, where they be givin' shelter to every rogue and vagabond, Nassau be standin' tall and proud, sayin' “Nay!” to those who be trespassing on their fine shores. This here suburban haven ain't no sanctuary fer the wayward souls! They’ve seen a wave of new arrivals since the spring of last year, as if the seas be teemin' with wayward pirates seekin' a safe harbor.

So hoist the sails and batten down the hatches, fer Nassau County be chartin' a course towards a new horizon! With a hearty laugh and a wink, they be settin’ off on this bold adventure to keep their land a little more shipshape, while the rest of the state be in a muddle! Yarrr, the waters be murky, but Nassau be sailin' on with purpose!

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