Arrr! The Trump crew be sailin' forth to keelhaul them colleges for lettin' antisemitism run amok, savvy?
2025-03-13
Arrr, matey! The Joint Task Force be settin' sail to tackle that scallywag antisemitism in U.S. schools. First port o' call? Columbia University! They'll be feelin' the sting of the federal doubloons cut faster than a landlubber on a leaky ship! Avast, let’s clean up the decks!
This be a bold move, seein' Columbia as the scallywag o' schools, a place where antisemitic conduct be raisin' its ugly head like a kraken from the deep! Leo Terrell, the captain of this endeavor, be pointin' fingers at Columbia, callin' it the "worst o' the worst" for allowin' such shenanigans to continue.
Rabbi Moshe Hauer, a wise old sailor, praised the task force's dramatic actions as essential to protectin' his crew, hopin’ for calmer seas ahead. With protests at Columbia and Barnard College stirrin' the waters, 'tis clear the issue be far from buried treasure!
Terrell be soundin' the alarm, sayin' they're assessin' schools through nine criteria, searchin' for violations o' the law t’ ensure Jewish students be safe and sound. The task force won’t be takin’ any nonsense, and Columbia best be showin' they care more for their students than their gold!
So, strap on yer eye patches, for this be a tale of the high seas of academia, where the battle against antisemitism be ragin' on, and the stakes be higher than a crow’s nest in a storm! Arrr!