Avast! Time be tickin’ fer federal scallywags to draft their walkin’ papers as the Trump crew trims the crew!
2025-03-13
Arrr, matey! The scallywags of the federal fleet be havin’ until Thursday to chart their course fer cuttin' crew! Aye, ‘tis part o’ the Trump ship’s promise to make the government sail smoother, even if it means walkin’ some landlubbers to the plank! Ha-ha!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer the latest scuttlebutt from the high seas of bureaucracy! The Trump captain be callin' fer a mighty trimmin' o' the crew on the federal ship, givin' orders fer layoff plans to be hoisted to the White House and the Office of Personnel Management by Thursday, aye!This here executive order, signed on the 11th day of February, commands the officers of federal agencies to prepare to toss overboard the nonessential scallywags, particularly those in closed offices and temporary roles. Fear not, public safety and law enforcement be spared from this storm, savvy?
By the end of the month, agency heads be scramble to submit their "Agency Reorganization Plans," while the treasure chest o' taxpayer dollars be whisperin' tales o' waste and inefficiency, claimin' the bloated bureaucracy be sinkin' the ship!
The Department of Education be slicin' nearly half its crew, while the EPA and NASA be shutterin' offices like barn doors in a gale. Even the IRS and Pentagon be joinin' the cutthroat crew of layoffs, lettin' loose those who be on probation, aye!
As for the captain himself, Trump be sayin’ the labor market be shinin' bright with high-paying jobs, just not in the government seas. So raise yer tankards to the chaos, and keep yer cutlasses sharp, fer the winds o' change be blowin’ swift in the federal waters, ye hearty pirates!