Arrr, matey! The Laken Riley Act be sendin' the landlubber feds to chase them scallywags from Venezuela in Florida!
2025-03-13
Arrr! Last week, the scallywags of Homeland Security and the Customs crew snaffled up some buccaneers from the Venezuelan Tren de Aragua gang, all thanks to the shiny new Laken Riley Act. Aye, the seas be safer, but the rum be runnin’ low!
Arrr matey! Gather 'round fer a tale o' the Laken Riley Act, a new decree that be shakin' the shores of Florida! Last week, a band o' 14 scallywags, suspected members of the dreaded Tren de Aragua gang, were plucked from their hidey-holes by the fine folks o' federal law enforcement on a three-day raid, as shown in a ruckus of a video by the Homeland Security Investigations. Aye, these buccaneers be accused of dastardly deeds, includin' vile assaults on innocent landlubbers!With the Laken Riley Act signed into law by President Trump, these ruffians now face the gallows, for all who be breakin' the law shall be hunted down, no matter where they hail from! Speakin’ o' noble intentions, Rep. Mike Collins be the mastermind behind this law, sworn to honor the memory of a brave lass named Laken Riley who met a cruel fate at the hands of one o' these scoundrels.
The Tren de Aragua, a fearsome crew that began as a prison gang in Venezuela, be causin' havoc like no other. As they kick down doors and terrorize the good folk, the message be clear: “No more pillaging without consequences!” So, hoist the sails and let it be known, justice be served on the high seas o' America! Yarrr!