Arrr, two wenches be pointin’ fingers at Marcellus Wiley, claimin’ he be a scallywag at Columbia, arrr!
2025-03-15
Arrr, me hearties! It be said two fair lasses be claimin' that Marcellus Wiley, a former gridiron scallywag, did them wrong in the year of our Lord 1994, when he was a young lad at Columbia. Har har! Seems even pirates have to watch their sails!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round, for I’ve a tale most troubling about a landlubber once known as the mighty Marcellus Wiley, a former gridiron warrior who donned the colors of Columbia University in the year of our Lord, 1994. A pair of fine lasses have set sail on a legal quest, accusing our scallywag of foul deeds within the confines of his dormitory.‘Twas said that one lass, after acceptin' an invitation to his quarters, found herself overpowered, despite shoutin' “nay” more times than a sailor says “arrr!” She claimed he whispered sweet nothings, urging her to “relax” whilst holdin' her down like a mutinous crew. The other victim, alas, faced a similar fate not long after.The first wench reported her plight to a Columbia captain of sorts, who warned her against makin' waves for fear she’d be branded as the one who sunk a black man's dreams of NFL glory. Wiley, when faced with these accusations, dismissed them as mere “BS,” claimin' he wouldn’t take a virgin’s honor lightly, yet he admitted to spendin’ the night in the lady's quarters. Aye, the seas of scandal be murky indeed!So there ye have it, a raucous romp through the stormy waters of justice! Arrr!